Fake Spiritual Healers: “Do As I Say, Not as I Do!”
Fake spiritual healers man- have you noticed how they’re popping everywhere these days? I see them all the time on social media- showing up as crunchy content warriors, spiritual advisors, life coaches, energy healers, and psychics, all claiming to have the answers. If you just follow their advice, you’ll be “magically healed” and “manifest all your dreams.”
They’re quick to point out everything you’re doing wrong, and to shove in your face exactly how THEY are doing it right. A quick look at their social media reveals only perfect pictures of them. They appear to be meditating, doing yoga, waving sage and crystals, and living their best lives. They’re always beautiful, always energized, and always have it all together. And, they assure you, and if you do as they say, so can you!
Just take their class, join their club, pay for their reading, or meditate with them on a mountain with a crystal shoved up your ass, and they promise that you’ll be enlightened, just like them. All you need is love, after all!
They look so perfect on the outside, don’t they? But so often, it feels icky, fake, and inauthentic.
Where are their vulnerable posts about how they fucked up? Where are their real pictures where their hair and makeup aren’t perfectly done? Where are their real stories about their own struggles? And how are they REALLY showing up in their personal lives, with their friends and families? Are they really as “elightented” as they claim to be?
The truth is, healers are regular people too, and most of us (if we are sincere about it) are all working through the layers of our subconscious programming, ego, and trauma. It’s bound to come out eventually. Sooner or later, they’re bound to say something rude, get triggered by a person or situation, or regress into an old pattern.
But to hide it, and pretend like it doesn’t happen, or that it doesn’t apply to us, can perpetuate the illusion that we are somehow better than everyone else. And that, predictably, sets a VERY dangerous precedent.
The trouble with so many healers on social media these days is that they run the risk of getting caught up in this magical thinking that somehow, they are spiritually superior.
They have this perfect image that they project to the world, and their followers begin to believe it. They want to be like them. They want the life they have.
Before too long, they get caught in the trap of living for a lie, and lying for their life.
Then, maintaining that image becomes more important than reality. They invest so much effort into maintaining this perfect image that they often start to believe it themselves. Then, when someone or something comes along and challenges that image, they must do everything they can to defend it.
They become afraid of losing this elevated status that they’ve created. They’re afraid that if they aren’t perfect, the pedestal they’ve stood on will fall from underneath their feet. They don’t want others to see anything other than their best, nor do they want to see it themselves.
This inability to see their own blind spots is only part of the problem. Another trap they often get caught in is their unwillingness to take their own advice or apply their own teachings. “Be sincere” they say. “Vibrate at a higher frequency” they say. Be humble, be kind, be forgiving, compassionate, and self aware. But if you challenge them or trigger their ego, all of that doesn’t apply to them.
“Do as I say, not as I do” is the unspoken message here.
Some even go so far as to then flip and make YOU the problem.YOU’RE the one who hasn’t done your shadow work, they say. YOU’RE the one who isn’t as spiritual, or compassionate, or self aware, or whatever. Can you say projection much?
If they were really sincere, they’d be humble. If they were really compassionate, they’d care to understand you. If they were really self aware, they’d realize they aren’t perfect. If they were truly forgiving, they’d apologize and ask for forgiveness. In other words, they’d apply their own teachings to themselves.
If someone perpetuates a perfect image, claims to be a spiritual leader, coach, or therapist, yet acts from their ego and doesn’t live the teachings they are preaching, RUN!
Just like you wouldn’t go to an overweight personal trainer if you were trying to get in shape, or to an unhealthy doctor for health advice, don’t go to a life coach, therapist, or spiritual healer who is in their ego.
As a healer myself, I know all too well that I am a human. I make mistakes, have bad days, and still have triggers, just like all of us do. I still go into victim mode sometimes. I still get angry or sad or depressed. I don’t hide it. I don’t claim to be perfect. I do my best to recognize and be aware of my ego and limitations when they arise. I make a concerted effort to look at and own my shit.
I also realize that it’s important not to just pay lip service, pretending that I’m so “spiritual” that I have it all figured out. I show up with my vulnerable posts as well as my happy ones. In my personal life I make an effort to apply my own wisdom, and treat others accordingly.
The truth is that you can’t be a true healer and help others unless you do the work and be honest with yourself.
None of us are perfectly healed, (and if you claim to be, you’re likely deluding yourself!) But, you can’t claim to have it all figured out if you can’t figure yourself out. And you have no business giving advice, healing, or coaching others if you are unwilling to do the hard work of addressing, owning, and transforming the unhealed version of yourself.
To do that takes courage. It takes vulnerability, humility, and a willingness to admit that you’re not perfect, but dammit, you are trying. It takes courage to show up with ALL of the parts of yourself, not just the perfect ones, but doing so gives others the opportunity to do the same. And to me, that’s the sign of a TRUE healer.